Hi! Today is Monday, June 30th. Today we go to the doctor to get blood levels checked and tomorrow we go again to have the way the Busulfan chemo they will be using metabolizes in Mark’s body so they can give him the dosage rate that will work best for him. We have one week before we delve into the “transplant process”. Spelled out by readmitting to the hospital on Monday, July 7th, BuCy chemo on Tuesday, July 8th, a day of rest on Monday, July 14th and Transplant on Tuesday, July 15th. Apparently, from what they say, Mark’s hardest time may be the two weeks following transplant when his levels are low and the new stem cells work to take over the place of his old. Right about the time he is being released from the hospital, my girls and I will be taking our oldest, Shyanna to her college to begin the new and exciting chapter of her life about 4.5 hours away from us.
So, this morning I read a little devotional page shared by a friend on Facebook from a book entitled “Keeping God in the Small Stuff”. It may seem odd, but I believe this is the next purchase I will make for our family. (We have been doing something weekly together to keep our focus though we are separated distance wise most of the time, we realize how important it is to stay together in our faith as we fight together in this battle.) The thing is, that one of the biggest lessons we have learned so far is that we NEED to focus little. Step by step. One day at a time. There is just too much that overwhelms you when you get ahead and try to take on too much with something like this.
This is the passage shared today:
It reminded me of the fact that over and over again in my life, when i have come to a challenging time, I have had to sort of “Shift Gears”. I told my girls recently, this same sort of thing. The Bible is clear. Jesus told his disciples, ” In this world, you WILL have trouble.” He didn’t say you might, or could…. “YOU WILL. But, take heart, for I have overcome the world.” So, as I read this today, I was moved. Moved and I reflected. I wish I could say I had it all together all the time. But, I don’t. I absolutely don’t. But, what I will say, is that God created me to adapt and change and this is what I want to share.
When I was getting ready during labor to push, I always took a minute to pause and throw my hair up in a pony tail. I was preparing for the workout ahead. When I teach fitness classes, I warm up, to prepare. When we drive in the mountains, our vehicle is used to a more flat and constant ride. Suddenly, we are climbing and descending very steep inclines and declines. What is necessary? SHIFTING GEARS.
Recently, before this battle, I faced another littler battle. I had to stand up and against something very dear to my heart. I felt the need to stand up for those who weren’t standing up for themselves and who felt bullied and pushed around. It was a tough decision, as I knew that it would cause me to lose friends, but I also knew that it would be hard to look myself in the mirror if I stood by and did nothing when I knew how these people with less power (or seemingly less power) continued to feel powerless. I understood that God himself would not want this to continue and that if it was so heavy on my heart, it was for good reason. I filled myself up on God’s truth about defending others- especially those who need it. About being courageous and about the importance of lifting others up and encouraging them. I went into a battle filled with truth and focused on the love I had for those who were smaller- those who needed someone to help them. I didn’t like the battle, but I saw it as necessary and so, I went forward after filling myself up on God’s word and with much prayer.
Now, we are preparing for the battle of our lives, and this little passage reminded me of the importance of the shifting of gears again. Of the preparation needed to be ready. So, my focus is that this is where we are and what we need to focus on isn’t where we are and what is going on- but on GOD.
… but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Oddly enough, this is the same verse I have already shared with two of our girls. Our oldest, as she heads to college at Chadron State to play basketball for the Eagles and to learn all she can about Human Biology before heading to Med School. Our third daughter as she is a runner… and feels like God made her to run- how fitting this verse was for her as she discovered this calling.
Isaiah 40:31 might just be my new life verse. I need my strength renewed. I need my hope to be in the Lord. I close my eyes and picture soaring on the winds beneath like an eagle… hitting that pace in my run where I feel like I can just keep going – it’s a good pace. This is my prayer for our whole family right now.
God, help our family to focus on the hope we have in the Lord. Let our strength be renewed daily and even minute by minute and second by second as we focus on our hope in Him. Let us run this marathon and not grow weary. Let the winds and the turbulence lift us and carry us higher that we might soar on top of it. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.